I <3 long sentences!

Celebrating the Semicolon in a Most Unlikely Location (NYTimes)

One of the school system’s most notorious graduates, David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam serial killer who taunted police and the press with rambling handwritten notes, was, as the columnist Jimmy Breslin wrote, the only murderer he ever encountered who could wield a semicolon just as well as a revolver. (Mr. Berkowitz, by the way, is now serving an even longer sentence.)

Let's all LOL at the '90s

Hello.
I wish I was a little bit taller.
I wish I was a baller.
I wish I had a girl who looked good; I would call her.
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala.

Bananas... in yo' pajamas!

Walk around with a banana in your pocket. When people see you, they'll probably ask "Why do you have a banana in your pocket?" To which you should reply, "I'm just happy to see you!"

Ba-dum *ch*

Football and Yogurt

Yesterday's shift in the playroom was really slow. Volunteers outnumbered kids 5:2. Which is to say there were only ever two kids in the playroom at a time. So the staff decided to close half an hour early. It was pretty awesome. Before that, though, there was a kid who was perfectly happy playing with another volunteer in the corner. Her aunt was bored, so I ended up playing NFL Blitz on the N64 with her. She was pretty gangsta, and I got a beatdown.

On Monday, Caroline and I were standing in the kitchen, drinking those Asian yogurt drinks in the little plastic containers. I was talking when all of a sudden she starts coughing and I get a fine mist of Lactobacillus in the face. Very refreshing.

Stupidity, thy name is freshman!

I was in the MCB Undergrad Affairs Office today to turn in some forms. As I was talking to an adviser, I hear the following conversation from the next cubicle over, where a girl is talking to another adviser:

"I really wanted to do Neurobiology. You k now how hard Math 1B is? I thought about switching to Math 16B and doing IB , but I didn't because I wanted to do Neuro that much."

wtf? Math 1B was hard, but not that bad. STFU and deal with it. Everyone has to do it. Get over yourself. Anyway, she continues:

"I really wanted to do research. I emailed 10-15 professors asking for a lab position, but I haven't heard back from any of them. I really want to work in Professor Presti's lab."

O_O Well, you're going to have a hard time doing that, because the adviser tells her now what everyone in Neuro knows...

"Are you aware that Professor Presti does not have a lab?"

I had to fight very hard not to start laughing then.